This is one is so obvious, it’s almost silly to even spend the effort to write about. But COME ON PORTLAND. What is UP with all the trees? Not only are we the laughing stock of the lower 48 (“Portland, Oregon? Yeah, that place SUCKS! There are SO MANY TREES!”), but these overgrown weeds are simply a nuisance to the workings of this city.
After deciduous leaves turn all shades of colors and delicately drift to the ground each autumn, they have to be painstakingly swept/blown/sucked from lawns and streets. Evergreen trees omit that piney aroma which is an assault on the olfactory senses. In the summertime, the trees create so much SHADE, that the sun’s scorching rays are all but blocked from the pasty flesh of us good Portlanders. AND they just make everything look so GREEN and LUCIOUS. Seriously folks, pick up your hatchets, chainsaws, torches, locusts, etc. and stop the insanity.