#3 Dixie Tavern

Dixie GroupDixie Logo
Man and woman were made to bone. And apparently, Christians believe that women came from a man’s bone. But I digress. In this awesome town of Portland, there are many places to find a suitor to “connect” with. If you’re looking for such, Dixie Tavern is surely a place you should avoid.

A couple of years ago, someone from Concept Entertainment took a visit to the humble town of Spokane, WA. Spokane, known for its serial killers and delicious urban sprawl, is home to a sweet dance club known as the Trick Shot Dixie. TSD has a country vibe, a HUGE dance floor, and the appropriate VIP room. Girls would jump on the bar, shaking their booty to forget about their broken dreams and their child(ren) at home. Perfection. And by perfection I mean a bar you would expect in Spokane. Obviously, someone thought that this winning combination of sadness and booze would flourish in the Rose City, and Dixie Tavern was born.

If you mosey to the Tav on a Friday night you will be greeted by a cover charge and a line to wait in. In this line you will undoubtedly run into a least one bachelorette party ready and rarin’ and probably already wasted. They will provide annoyance/entertainment and possibly a penis-shaped necklace for you to wear. Upon gaining entrance, first thing you will experience is the stench of smoke and the odor* of douche bags. For some reason, Dixie Tavern attracts A LOT of dudes that want to congress (It’s a freaking congressional gathering of douches). Girls avoid the roving groups of desperate lads by huddling together. Afraid of the next overserved, awkward guy to hit on them, they decide to dance by themselves. Girl power! They will shake it on the dance floor, or on the bar, just to get away from the circle of pimply horndogs ogling them from the sidelines. If you are brave enough to venture to the bathroom area (conveniently and stinkily located right by the dance floor), in the women’s room you WILL find a girl crying/puking, and in the men’s room it is likely someone will be peeing while sitting down. The appropriate way to describe the scene at Dixie Tavern: remember your worst middle school dance, with less sexiness. Strangely Dixie’s advertises itself as a “Rock and Roll” establishment and along the back wall is a pretty impressive collection of rock posters. I guess this is to avoid any messy legal wrangling (pardon the pun) with Coyote Ugly.

Bottom line: Do dance remixes of Sweet Home Alabama and Don’t Stop Believing turn you on? If “yes”, you’ll love Dixie Tavern and you shouldn’t attempt the process of reproducing.

*Axe body spray

Dixie Group

11 thoughts on “#3 Dixie Tavern

  1. If you look at the escort ads in the Mercury this wk theres a tranny hooker whos a dead ringer for one of the girls at Dixie. Take a wild guess which one. BAHAHA! I’m gonna bring in the ad and have her autograph it! Dixie, you really need to pay your girls better!

  2. Too bad now Dixie has a rep for having unattractive, rude girls largely because of a couple people. That land beast Beckaly is gone and the tranny(?) has taken her place as the One To Avoid. Not cuz I’m homophobic, cuz she now has a ‘tude the size of Crater Lake. Well you ain’t all that Miss Thing snap! snap!

    Does this remind anyone of a f**ked up version of Heathers?

  3. I used to live in the same building as this bar! Before it opened we were far enough away from McFaddens that it would keep the douche parade far enough away to make me still feel OK about being human. After it opened, the douchebag spillover surrounded around the entire block. Barracuda is just on the other side of here! And now Dirty is across the street so this area has no hope at all anymore. Also, wanna buy any crack? You’ve come to the right place.

  4. Did you know there’s a transvestite working there? He/she’s about 7 ft tall and that’s totally a guy! Christine/Christopher, careful about hitting on that one! How funny is that? Maybe they thought he/she could double as a bouncer? Well when they said they have the hottest bartenders they weren’t being gender specific…

  5. I initially thought these bad reviews were by guys she turned down or something. Then I went to Dixie and opened a tab with her and damn! She really is a bee-yotch! And a slow one at that. She is the most attitudinal, arrogant bartender I’ve seen in portland and that’s pretty bad. She was yelling at customers for not tipping and one was so embarassed he left. I didn’t tip her either after that. Someone needs to tell her that when you are built like a linebacker and have crossed eyes and buck teeth you have no business being conceited. I’ll probably go back to Dixie eventually but I’ll never open a tab with “Buckaly” ever again.

    Oh if you’re wondering who she is look at the Dixie website under Photo Gallery. She’s the big girl in the red shirt who’s making a weird face like she just kissed a fish. Hottest bartenders in Portland? Oh, really?

  6. There’s been a Bash Beckaly trend going on for some time now, she’s a nice girl but people are just getting tired of her act. Yes, she thinks she’s a lot hotter than she actually is. Yes, she’s a terrible dancer and isn’t aware of it. Yes, maybe her bartending skills could use some improvement. This is the Dixie in Portland, not an actual Coyote Ugly, so lighten up. She’s a bartender, not a model. Yes maybe she’d be better off waitressing, but these decisions aren’t up to me. You rude customers carrying your badmouthing over to the internet suck and we don’t want your money. If she rubs you the wrong way, there are 20 other girls on shift. One caveat; she does need to stop burping in front of the customers. It’s not funny, it’s disgusting.

  7. Heeheeheehaha! Sounds like I Shower instead of Axe came across the infamous Beckalee! That description suits her to a T! My chick friends like to hover around the dance floor and they prefer going upstairs to get drinks because she’s too busy trying to be cute and takes too long. She must be diddling her boss or something because otherwise I have no idea why they keep her on the payroll esp. after she put on weight. If that were my bar I’d replace her with someone sexy, who can dance (thinking you can is not the same thing), has the sense to fix her teeth, and can handle high volume bartending. It’s all about separating the wheat from the chaffe.

  8. lets just say this might make sound white trash, which i may be. i like to call myself a rebel :p while i did not hang out at the dixie for my bachlorette party, it was the bar of choice for my wedding after party. lets just say i was 100% sober- and loved the reaction i got when everyone saw me in my several hundred dollar wedding dress getting down on top of the bar. at least i was the only girl that you couldnt see up my dress!the only remark i have on the bar itself, it sucked- just like 99% of the bars around here. thats why for my bp i went where any self respecting girl should go- union jacks!

  9. What cracks me up is they say they have the hottest bartenders in Portland then you go in and they are either chunky or butterfaces and NONE of them could dance to save their lives.The ONE that could isn’t there anymore. That was dumb on their part. Avoid the fat brunette at the side bar with the blue eyes and f**ked up teeth that thinks she’s hot s**t you’ll be waiting forever. It’s funny to watch her dance though it’s like watching a dancing elephant at the circus. XV is better. Smaller, but way less bulls**t. And Axe smells like Insecticide.

  10. Yeah, the the only place worse than this might be any of Portland’s infamous gay bars, such as Silverado, right? As BarFly so elequently puts it. “If you can’t get laid at Silverado, then you’re probably straight AND dead.”

    Now, there’s something to be proud of, Portland…

  11. It’s good, good stuff here in this post. You really brought it home with the Axe body spray pic. Fantastic. I applaud.

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