Nestled above Broadway Avenue, Portland State University’s motto sits transcribed into one of the campus’s many skybridges. That’s right, I said skybridges … on a campus. Because what else can you jump off of when stressed about midterms and/or suffering from seasonal affective disorder from the area’s lack of sun? The urban, public university is in the most unappealing setting for the college bound – full of continuous concrete, constant construction, and congested traffic. One thing that PSU proves is that nothing screams “college” more than the sound of jackhammer intermixed with the sweet serenade of garbage truck.
If the State of Oregon was a set of parents and its public universities were their children, Portland State University would be the unattractive, overweight, emo, possibly-adopted bad egg in that picture perfect, khakis/polo, All-American family. There’s little Benny and Donald: the all-star athletes who are set to be an engineer (OSU) and a lawyer (UO). Then there’s the set of quintuplets who are each destined to be an accomplished actor (SOU), a prominent teacher (EOU), an advocate for the deaf (WOU), and a computer designer (OIT).
PSU touts themselves as Oregon’s “most diverse college.” But all that means is that you can walk into any given classroom, find a black and a white, a Latino and an Asian, a Mennonite and a Muslim, and a granny and a tranny. These distinct groups of people would never otherwise talk to one another but are forced to have a discussion on topics they could care less about and are only there to fulfill a worthless general core requirement.
Let’s get some real stats, shall we?
- The average age of PSU students is right around 54.5*
- It’s the fallback school for when Portland area high school students get denied at OSU and UO*
- The cost of parking for a month is roughly the same rate as in-state tuition for a school year
- Half your classes will be at night to accommodate the full time single mother of three who sits next to you (and brings her children to class)*
- You’ll watch some sub-par sporting events*
- You’ll see on average seven hobos a day who will beg you for a cigarette or change or will be urinating in the breezeway of the student union.
Yes, let knowledge serve the city.
*Not a real stat but definitely a real opinion