#40 Dirty Dining

Love/Hate relationship never meant more to me than after viewing my first segment of KPTV Fox 12’s Dirty Dining. The Double-D highlights a restaurant’s antics with health inspectors and host Kerry Tomlinson. Meant to be more comedy than genuine news report, Dirty Dining takes some horrific liberties to generate negative responses towards local restaurants. Take this report from Dirty Dining host, Kerry Tomlinson visit to Portland City Grill:

Raw Calamari at 49 Degrees (Dangerous level)
Egg Batter at 50 degrees (Also a dangerous level)
Salad Prep Cooler not at a safe temperature (Bacteria could grow!)
Dirty Knives in with Clean Knives! (I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!)

Will Dirty Dining affect my desire to eat at Portland City Grill (one of my favorite places to make fun of even though I enjoy myself every time)? Of course not! I’m pretty sure the only place I ever eat raw egg batter and calamari is in the comfort of my own home. I also have been known to flirt with disaster and toss dirty spoons in with clean spoons, but not knives! What stupid restaurant would do such a thing?

For me personally, Dirty Dining really “raised some eyebrows” with their continuous visits to Cheerful Tortoise’s. Before I watched that report, a group of friends visited the Cheerful for cheap “recovery food”. A friend ordered the pancakes… and he is a no-pro when it comes to culinary experiences. After waiting 45 minutes, he was eventually served well-done, black pancakes. This North American flapjack was so burnt we tossed them across the table to test it’s sturdiness. The Double D helped me realize that Cheerful Tortoise is a gross place to eat.

It’s easy to love the hijinks that ensue on Dirty Dining. You’ll also find ease to hate its junk reporting. Dirty Dining is a horrible news gimmick to keep Portlanders fearful of area restaurants. The problem with Double D is that We already know these places are obviously craptastic and could cause post-digest stomach aches, but we still eat there. Please just don’t SHOW/TELL me why I shouldn’t. It’s like taking a black light to your hotel room.

Here are some of my favorite 34DD classics with links to each segment:

“Highway to the temperature danger zone!”

14 thoughts on “#40 Dirty Dining

  1. No way, local businesses need to clean up their acts. Just because you have not gotten food poisoning yet doesn’t mean it’s a matter of time. Just thank your immune system for that, but sometimes it may not be so forgiving. I mean, why would DD hate all these restaurants? That makes no sense. Their just doing their OBJECTIVE job and frankly, the health dept is way too lenient! Yeah, that’s right! They won’t shut down businesses that have failed multiple times! DD absolutely affects my decision to eat somewhere. Even if if does not get me sick, the idea of what I just ate is disgusting. I go to their website before going to any restaurant in town. DD tried to protect the consumer. But you all go right ahead and eat your rat poo, mold and so forth. In summary, FOX does suck, and DD does not.

  2. Just a comment on their fact-checking: not once, but TWICE, they proclaimed the Montage to be in NE Portland when, in fact, it is most definitely in SE Portland (SE Industrial to be exact).

    That said, the owner did come off as kind of an idiot.

  3. I have to say as a twenty year plus professional in the restaurant industry that this segment on Fox 12 ‘news’ is one of the most ludicrous pieces of drivel that has ever hindered honest working and decent local small businesses ever. Anyone who has had even moderate experience with actually preparing their own food understands the challenges in maintaining a clean and safe environment. Are there restaurants that clearly ignore health standards, of course! This doesn’t mean we need some sensationalist b.s. every week trying to slander one of the most precious commodities of our community.

    For those that like this segment, may I suggest turning up your Brittany Spears collection, tuning into ‘Big Brother’ reruns, and moving out to Gresham. Things are always more comfortable when you just conform to the machine, so eat at Olive Garden and stay out of my favorite independently owned and unique Portland restaurants.

    As for anyone at Fox 12 news, I have yet to see you review or dine at any establishments I have prepared food in, but I look forward to the day. I am a professional who would never taint the quality of anything I serve, but I would be anxious to see how these lying cowards would react to serious criticism of their smear campaigns.

  4. Dirty Dining is about as subjective & one sided as anything else FOX does!(including the weather).I can safely say you will never see one of their precious sponsors getting ratted out to an uninformed public,(most of which have absolutely no clue what is right & what is wrong in the restaurant business).Secondly…At no time do they ever make mention of the qualifications of said “inspectors”, many who only work part time & come out of the woodwork a couple months out of the year, with as little as 2 weeks of training! I personally would like to know what their backgrounds are and what (if any) degrees they have obtained! If FOX would fill those two holes then maybe they would have a better leg to stand on before unleashing their uninformed reporting on the rest of us!

  5. “Dirty Dining”is about as right as anything else FOX does(or tries to do as the case may be)! I find however that it is typically one sided & subjective. first…I seriously doubt you will ever see one of their coveted sponsors being ratted out to the uninformed public in such a negative way! Secondly…There is no mention of the qualifications of the inspectors who are performing said inspections! Many of these inspectors are part time & only come out of the “woodwork” a couple months out of the year, with as little as two weeks of updated training.trying to

  6. They have Dirty Dining Report here in AZ…I worked at a place that was on it at one point, now the place has perfect scores every inspection. Embarrassment can lead to certain places turning themselves around to do a better job. Not all, but some. I also had a part in turning the place around, I ripped all the cooks heads off until they cleaned up their acts. 😀

      • so look, if you want to go down that road (businesses that screw the public) there are a lot of other places to start
        you don’t agree with me fine, my guess is you probably don’t have any experience with professional kitchens
        my primary point here is that a health inspection score alone is a poor judge of a restaurant’s overall operations

  7. I like your inclusion of Acrop on there as a dirty diner favorite establishment.

    My favorite is King Burrito. YOu can get a huge burrito from this hole on the wall on N. Lombard for like 3-4 bucks.

    It’ll f**k your stomach up and you’ll run to the pot but its so good you’ll be back for seconds.

  8. I dunno. While Dirty Dining is most certainly low-brow “news”, I gotta admit I enjoy watching it.

    Maybe it’s the vigilante justice aspect of it I admire? I mean, I was once watching DD “out” a nasty Chinese buffet on 82nd avenue, and DD commented on moldy food being found in the walk-in. When they approached the owner about his skanky beef, he of course refused to talk, and simply covered his face in typical perp fashion as he power-walked away from the camera. And I was sittng there thinking, “Ha! Take that, ya’ moldy food serving bastard!”

    This is not to say everyone gets a fair shake by DD. I recall seeing a few of their segments that reminded me of a saying in the Old West: “Don’t worry. We’ll give you a fair trial before we hang you.”

    But all in all, the world is a better place with DD. At least, sucky Fox news is better with DD.

  9. Seems to me that KPTV had several chances to notice that Montage is located in Southeast -not “Northeast Portland”, as they call it twice- before they ran that clip. Oh well.

  10. DD is my favorite local news segment…not that it has any competition. From the whoosh of the burger/koi/Irish whiskey graphic across the screen to the owners who are “sabotaged,” won’t speak on camera, DD is local news at its best. Has it grossed me out and made me laugh? Yes. Has it caused me to think twice about going to any of the establishments covered? No.

    Also, I’d like the Fox 12 Kitchen be subjected to a health department visit…I think that it would be interesting to see how the news station’s cleanliness stacked up against the pros.

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