What makes a true Beaver fan? Is it the buck teeth, big, flat tail (usually seen on I-5 on game days, hanging out of the trunk of Beaver fans’ cars – nice touch, guys), or are the only true Beaver fans the ones who go all out for “Blackout Reser” by painting themselves black from head to toe and offending local minorities?
Well, that has yet to be determined, but what is certain is this:
It’s not their fault.
When it comes down to it, Beaver fans don’t have a lot to work with.
First of all, the best options for entertainment in Corvallis, besides “Beaver Believing” are apparently Aquatics and the library, according to this website.
Let’s focus on the sports, though.
Starting with Basketball. The Beaver basketball team did get people talking 2007. The talk mostly consisted of the question “Is the Beaver basketball team the worst in the country?” ’07 standings left the Beavers at the very bottom, with a big 0 in the win column (18 in the lose column, in case that left you wondering). They did beat most of their opponents in some stats, though – mainly turnovers and missed free throws. The only thing Beaver fans could do was suffer through the season, holding their Beaver breath in anticipation of baseball and football season.
As for baseball, fine, you’re repeat national champions. In baseball. Congratulations. Little kids going out for Little leagues everywhere look up to you.
As for football, well, while the other teams concentrate on “little things” like trying to win the national championship bid and having their players qualify for the Heisman trophy, the Beaver football program concentrates on just one thing – trying to beat the Ducks. The whole season is spent in anticipation of the Civil War, struggling through the beginning half just to gain some momentum for playing against the Ducks. Sure, they came out on top in Autzen stadium last year, which some considered a major blow to the Ducks in this intense* rivalry. It must’ve been exciting for them to count a win in a real stadium. Seriously – let’s talk about Potato Salad Stadium. Word has it they did a good deed when they recently donated their metal bleachers to the local high school so they could move into the world of real stadium seating. And that’s all thanks to funding from the fine folks at Reser Fine Foods.
…which brings us to this: all Beaver fans are true fans – because they are still Beaver fans, even after attending a Beaver sporting event.
*to Beaver fans