#56 Wannabe SuicideGirls

Contrary to the beliefs held in the hearts of hundreds of scantily dressed, overly inked, dyed and pierced girls in Portland, they are in fact not ALL Suicide Girls.

I know it’s shocking… but not all of these “gorgeous”-yet-alternative girls actually get paid to take it off for the camera. They may claim to be, yet truth be told there are still less than 1,900 certified SG girls.

SuicideGirls.com began in 2001 in a Portland loft. Since that time they have built the brand and now have over 1 million unique visitors a week and more than 300,000 subscribers. (Please read subscribers as: Fat men living in parent’s basements that can pony up $4/month to see real boobs on their 32″ computer monitor, or guys with fetishes.) For a site that prides themselves on being an alternative subculture they sure are commercialized; SG has a magazine, a MySpace (one of the most popular pages btw), clothing line, DVDs, books, etc.

UrbanDictionary.com provides an entertaining, possibly partially true explanation of SuicideGirls:
(noun) orig. Portland, Oregon. 1) soft porn website/community made famous for being outside the realm of traditional beauty because instead of fake blonde hair models have fake pink hair and do not yet menstruate. Also notable for allowing models to feel rebellious by using using their looks for attention, a feat never been attempted by women prior to the site’s inception.

2) also known as the site that rendered the word “empowerment” completely meaningless.

The process to be accepted to submit your photos to SG girls is quite simple… Send them hot photos of yourself, naked or not and then wait for an email that says you are in fact hot enough or not. You then create a profile and submit your model release and tax form and then voila you are ready to then send your photo sets in. This is where they obviously get picky seeing as they only have 1,879 models globally (as of 10/20).

Let’s recap: Sending your nakey photos, and having a whorish/cute/edgy nickname, do not in fact make you a SuicideGirl.

It is quite easy to spot these wannabe SuicideGirls, here is a quick checklist:

  • Piercings
  • Tattoos
  • Revealing clothing
  • One word moniker
  • Bad a$$ chick attitude, pushover conformist at heart
  • Claim to live life dangerously, yet more than likely go home to their long term bf’s and cats

Love ’em or not SuicideGirls have a presence in Portland, however it is not nearly at the level at which the aspiring “pin ups” want you to believe.

13 thoughts on “#56 Wannabe SuicideGirls

  1. Silly internet haters. I’ll take a laid back cool ink’d chick all day any day. Person who made this site is some lame lonely man who can’t get laid and that prob applies to the majority of you. Portland is constantly rated one of the best places to live in the world. Culturally you can live there without being judged by your cover and you cannot say that about the majority of the United States.

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  3. This is one thing about Portland that I remember (I left about 10 year ago.), the pretentious hipsters. They remind me of the gang of Harley bikers in that episode “The F-word” of South Park; drawing attention for the sake of drawing attention.

  4. The stripper market is flooded with these types. To the point where the look is becoming boring. Check out Lucky Devil, Union Jacks, or Sassy’s, the look has become the norm. It’s just not exciting anymore. And when too many people cultivate a look, it becomes passe. Remember when Heavy Metal was the thing? Every guy had long hair? But when that look got outdated, all it took was a haircut. Those ugly Suicide Girl tatoos and peircing holes are a different matter. All I see is a lifetime of future regrets.

  5. The offices of SuicideGirls moved from Portland to Los Angeles in 2003.

    I clicked ‘yes’. I have been on there since 2003 — I’m in the HBO special and in the book — but I do think that while influential, the institution’s quite irrelevant.

    Really helped to define Dante’s, though!

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  7. As someone initially ‘accepted’ to be a SG, but without a set up on the site yet, I definitely feel you. I’m working on it, as my screenname “rostasuicide” certainly is a bit lame not being on the site! Thanks for this post, it may have been the kick in the a$$ I needed!

  8. Girls’ Tattoos Found to Have More Than One Use
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    It turns out that tattoos, formerly believed to be useful solely
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