#61 Inclement Weather Driving

asdfasdfThe week of December 15th, 2008, the Portland area was hit by a “arctic blast.” Temperatures hovered around freezing. The rain we are accustomed to turned to flaky snow. What does this gentile early freeze do to the metro area?

Sends us into the Portland Inclement Weather Pandemonium!

Four (five in some areas) days off of school for the kids. Chain requirements on the local highways. Insufferable stories from our local news stations (No, I do not need to see the snow accumulation on your disc thermometer to know it is snowing.) And horrible, horrible driving.

Everyone in Portland has seen it. “Portland Pilgrim” from Georgia moved here to work a creative job in some e-business. They go out and buy a 4Runner because its consider “extreme,” load it up with studded tires, and on the first snow of the year, they head out and immediately get stuck in a ditch. 4WD does not mean you get free license to be a tool. In most snow/ice situations, cautious, slow driving will keep you out of trouble.

The only good thing about the arctic blast is that there are fewer cyclist on the road.

PS- Here’s a good winter car prep list from Cartalk

12 thoughts on “#61 Inclement Weather Driving

  1. Pingback: Portland sucks! F this weather « zombiepdx

  2. After growing up in Alaska and also living in Utah for some time, the ‘bad weather’ here seems like nothing. But, I will say, that this state is not NEARLY as prepared for the weather as it should be, which makes driving not as easy. I know a few years ago my friend could literally not get his car out of his driveway/off his street for days because the city didn’t plow it for too long. Really unimpressed with that.

  3. You know that video doesn’t contain any actual local drivers? This is what happens when you put Californians behind the wheel of a juggernaut, put them on a steep surface and expose them to any weather whatsoever.

  4. As a Colorado transplant, I had a lot of fun watching this spectacle! What’s up with the no snow plows things? I’ve been here 9 years, and we’ve had enough big snows to necessitate more plows. Hell, put some plows on those stupid ODOT trucks!

  5. What’s with Portlanders not using their headlights when it is raining or foggy? Not only is it the law, it is basic common sense.

    A note to drivers of European cars with a rear fog light: Please learn what it is for and use it only when it is foggy or raining hard. Otherwise, you look like you’re braking with one bulb out and it becomes obvious that, despite your fake oval country sticker or “authentic” German number plates, you have never actually driven in Europe.

    • With those German cars, the rear foglight is wired to the front ones. When those are on, the rear will automatically be on as well.

  6. Just another thing people from Portland suck at: driving in the snow. Funny thing is I plow past people in my 2 door civic, mostly cause when you grow up on the east coast 5 inches of snow is a joke.

  7. Hey Uncle Assf**k, apparently your inability to ride your stupid f**king fixie, wear your rolled up pants, gay little biker hat, and wholly unnecessary oversized messenger bag has affected your ability to count, you moron. The next post is #62.

  8. Fewer bicyclists on the road? Surely you jest. While the cold keeps the nude cyclists from “expressing themselves” (or removes them from the gene pool when their goolies freeze to the seat), slick conditions give even more opportunities for Portland cyclists to display asshole tendencies. Not only does it give them a better opportunity to get up on downtown sidewalks and scream at pedestrians like Cossacks yelling at peasants, but this way they can feel even more victimized and marginalized when they rip through three stop lights on a fixed-gear, hit an ice patch, and break three ribs slamming into the Tri-Met bus that had the right of way. “But it’s my right to bike like a douchebag!”

  9. “The only good thing about the arctic blast is that there are fewer bikers on the road”

    Things that suck about Portland #63. Every morbidly obese, microdicked asswipe still living in their mother’s garage has a blog.

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