#62 The Smoking Ban

smokingbansmallMarathon. Low Brow Lounge. Touche. Berbati’s. Gypsy. Claudia’s. Belmont Inn. Katie O’Brien’s.

These places were once a haven to those who enjoyed a stiff drink and a cig. Whether you are an occasional smoker, or have no regard for your personal well-being, you’ve chained smoked* at one of these places. You knew that as long as the bar was smokey, it was hip. Lame people would stay away from you, your favorite dive bar and just stay home. They wouldn’t want their pea coats and hair smelling like ash trays.

Fact: Smoking an American Spirit goes hand-in-hand with a Pabst Blue-Ribbon.

There are many in society who associate second-hand smoke with lung cancer and wrinkly skin. With these health risks comes an obligation to the well-being of an establishment’s employees. The representatives of our State legislature made the decision to create a smoke-free workplace. The State of Oregon wanted to protect wait staff, bartenders and cooks from the risk of catching the cancer. Ironic that 60% are smokers (that number jumps to 90% when they are drinking). I highly doubt the ones most affected by the ban were allowed to voice their opposition.

Fact: The previous paragraph’s percentage numbers were based on zero research.  They were, however, well thought out.

Ultimately, patrons that bitched about the smokey atmosphere in their favorite bars led to the ban. This move will likely cut into their dive bar’s profit margin and precious video poker dollars. Oregon loses tax revenue from the sales of cigarettes and lottery. The smaller, neighborhood joints won’t be able to afford to stay open every night. Karaoke performances will become uninspired and empty without the vocally-trained hipster. Breathe easy, Portland, as this is not the end. Thanks to all the fat people in Oregon, we’ll probably see a fast-food ban soon.

BarFlyMag.com has created a list of the smoking/smoker friendly bars in Portland:

*Smoke a lot of cigarettes back to back to back… Definition courtesy of Urban Dictionary

20 thoughts on “#62 The Smoking Ban

  1. I’m a smoker and I kinda like the smoking ban. Smokers now have some very awesome covered heated patios that are better than smoking inside. However, they take my patios and I will be pissed.

  2. GMC. Keep smoking your pot and thinking your informed brother. It’s funny, you’re telling me to “avoid bars” to not smell like smoke. I’m merely stating it smells like total s**t, like most the tree huggers in this town. I, unlike yourselves, made my choice to go to a bar I enjoy and smell like s**t and not bitch about. You silly “well-informed” types piss and moan at every turn of the “man” holding you down. Life sucks, deal with it, if not, go get f**ked.

    Oh and for the record, I adore UFC, and from where I’m from, it’s still banned, Do I piss and moan? No, I just go watch it live elsewhere. Yea, Fight the power man!!!

  3. Erick, you’re a baffoon. Mental-midgets like yourself find it impossible to see the forest through all those damn trees. Giving the government the power to restrict individual freedoms will eventually lead to the banning of something you hold dear. You had, within your power, the ability to avoid smelling like smoke … don’t go to the f**king bar, you retard. You’re a pussy!

    The government, at all levels, has never been satisfied with only taking the inch. Thanks to the short-sighted thinking of ignorant voters like yourself, they’re well on their way to taking the entire mile.

  4. LOL at Carol. Yes. Terrorists are a swell bunch and I’m sure everything would be great if you overthrew the government. Genius logic here.

  5. I smoke pipes and cigars. Apparently “cigar bars” are exempt from the ban. But what exactly the f**k is a “cigar bar”? Horse Brass? Would somebody explain this to me?

    “I being a non smoker support ,the smoking ban.”

    Actually one doesn’t necessarily equal the other. Thanks. I’ve met a few people who don’t smoke are either indifferent or don’t like the ban.

    And, ironically, most of the vehement anti-smoking crowd smoke weed like they get paid for it.

  6. I being a non smoker support ,the smoking ban .
    Smoking is injurious to health & has serious side effects. This addiction causes many irreversible damages and reduces the human life span by 25 years.It results in heart problem ,lung cancer, wrinkling etc.
    I feel ,that life is very precious & we all should Quit smoking , as it has immediate as well as long-term benefits for you and your loved ones.

  7. Crap like this is why we smokers should be supporting terrorists, and helping to annihilate YOUR putrid dictatorship from the face of the earth. No, I will NEVER accept your smoking bans! And I pledge vengeance against all of your kind!

  8. Yea, but I’m sure those poison’s are tasty in my food. Perhaps I should by organic like every other tree hugging hippie in this city? Smoking smells like crap, and I categorize as white trash because the overwhelming majority in this city is whites. You dumb f**ks keep arguing that “it doesn’t hurt”, I never said anything about the health. I just think it smells like s**t, and now I don’t have to smell like s**t when I go to a bar.

  9. Erick E,

    One of these days you’re going to wake up and realize that all of the poisons in your food and in the air are going to kill you a lot quicker than a little second smoke. Also, not everyone that smokes can be correctly categorized as “white trash.” Take your new president, for example, you big baby.

  10. Until you get tossed out of a bar or the bar gets fined for allowing smoking. So, please see previous statement, sucks to be you.

  11. The point is that anti-smokers have no right to violate business owners’ property rights UNLESS they can claim a legitimate public health justification. Anti-smokers have no such justifiication, so their demagogues resorted to committing scientific fraud. THEREFORE, OUR RIGHTS, AND SOCIETY’S RIGHTS AS WELL, HAVE BEEN VIOLATED, by this scientific fraud.

    Furthermore, the non-smoking majority proved that they do not mind the smoke by continuing to patronize businesses that allowed smoking, despite the anti-smokers’ scare propaganda. The anti-smokers shove their total bans down the public’s throat BECAUSE THEY WANT TO COMMIT CULTURAL GENOCIDE AGAINST US.

  12. I don’t care if I gotta walk through a cloud of your smoke to get to the bar. Are you f**king retarded? Point is I don’t have to sit in the smoke all night, I deal with it twice, when entering and when leaving. I don’t give a s**t about my health, I care that smoking smells like crap. Enjoy smoking your butt in the cold rain bub. At least I don’t gotta smell like your white trash a$$.

  13. The anti-smokers are guilty of flagrant scientific fraud for ignoring more than 50 studies, which show that human papillomaviruses cause over ten times more lung cancers than they pretend are caused by secondhand smoke. Passive smokers are more likely to have been exposed to this virus, so the anti-smokers’ studies, because they are all based on nothing but lifestyle questionnaires, have been cynically DESIGNED to falsely blame passive smoking for all those extra lung cancers that are really caused by HPV.


    The anti-smokers have committed the same type of fraud with every disease they blame on smoking and passive smoking, as well as ignoring other types of evidence that proves they are lying, such as the fact that the death rates from asthma have more than doubled since their movement began.


  14. Hey there E.Z.E., thanks to the ban, you are now required to walk through a cloud of my smoke to get to the front door of any establishment that either cannot afford to build a patio, or doesn’t have any room to do so. You’re welcome.

    Anyway, every bar in Portland I’ve seen that opened in the last five years (except for The Standard) has been non-smoking anyway, and I have no reason to suspect that the trend would have continued. Why couldn’t dive bars have stayed smoky, and all the rest of them could be non-smoking, exactly? It’s an easy, hot-button political topic, and way easier than doing something about air quality in Portland in general.

    But yes, boo f**king hoo. No one ever went into a dive bar for their health. Good thing we’re saving the lives of all those infants who want a drink, huh?

  15. Dumbest… post… ever. Go outside. Boo f**king hoo, the white trash smoking their marlboro reds chugging their Coors will have to walk a few feet to have a smoke outside. Give me a f**king break.

  16. You’ve apparently never heard of a little city called “Eugene”. When they instituted their smoking ban YEARS ago, business declined while people went over to Springfield. Bars built their “smoking decks”, increasing the value of their property by increasing usable square footage. All of the non-smokers who avoided going out entirely finally came out, stopping the decline of business very quickly. Then the smokers realized Springfield sucked and wanted to go back to the cool bars in Eugene and now spend their time on the smoking deck, still buying food and drink. Many bar manager/owners I know in Eugene have noticed increases in profits as well as fewer sick days for employees. I personally know the owners of two of the bars you link to in your opening paragraph and they are very happy that there is now a level playing field for them to finally say “No Smoking”.

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