#83 The Tiger

(Willamette Week/AP)

The Tiger is the  U.S. Representative for Oregon’s 1st congressional district. As a beast and congressman, The Tiger has been a part of some landmark moments that have shaped our country.

The Tiger was born in the 1950’s, when Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes was in need of a mascot to appear on packaging and advertising campaigns.  They settled with a Chinese immigrant from Taiwan and The Tiger became a huge success with children everywhere.  Over the generations he became one of the greatest cartoon icons in the realm of Goofy, Sonic and the Tasmanian Devil.

In his final year at Yale Law School, the Tiger was contacted by American rock band Survivor to pen the theme for Rocky III.  The movie was a story about an epic battle with Man (Mr. T) vs. Man (Mr. B).  In one of the greatest collaborations in the history of mankind, Rocky III would debut “Eye of the Tiger” to moviegoers and radio enthusiasts everywhere.  In his first attempt, The Tiger found success at #2 and was nominated for an Academy Award. His second musical collaboration united a group of rappers that went on to some success in the hip hop community.

In 1998, he teamed up with the Democrat party and successfully won a seat as United State’s newest congressman.  Although his reign would last twelve years, it also introduced a dark longing to return to the jungle.

On October 30th, 2010, Blackberry emails, texts and images surfaced showing the Tiger under the influence of jungle fever.  He would proceed to embarrass his staff and Oregonians over the next couple of months until The Tiger was put down by WWeek.com.  Currently, his blood is being sold on the black market fueling other crazy outbursts and behavioral changes in humans.

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