#75 Cell Phone Ban

The new, “No talky on celly when drivey” law has entered the c**kpits of our Toyota Priuses effective January 1st, 2010. Since I’m a super liberal hippie that uses Tri-Met rather than drive anywhere, I thought this was a fantastic idea! When I think of a world where drivers are … Continue reading

#74 Clear WiMAX

After spending the past six months with the Clear wireless experiment, it’s time to bash the hell out of an experience that can best be summed up as “worse than Comcast.”* It all started with my 1920’s house located a block away from the Clear WiMAX tower. I noticed it … Continue reading

#73 Whole Foods

Expensive, expensive, expensive & expensive. Walking the aisle of Whole Foods will amaze most people with their great selection of both brand name and small market niches. But once you reach the unprofessional hippie clerk at check out, you might choke on your processed spearmint gum. Whole Foods and Wild … Continue reading

#71 Lake Oswego Moms

For decades, these vixens of venture capital investors have roamed the Alphabet streets, maintaining their persona of perfection. Oh you pretty little gold diggers, with your double and (sometimes even triple!) wide $4000 strollers and your Gucci diaper bags all for your ugly baby. Juicy Baby can’t hide that face. … Continue reading

#67 Lakers Fans

To all my friends, family and coworkers who are from the State of California, I’m sorry to confess: I’m a Californist. My heart has learned to open up a little and become more open minded to people from California. Your views and tanned skin might be a different than mine, … Continue reading

#64 Hygiene

You’ve sat next to this person on the MAX. You’ve shared the sidewalk with this individual. At one point, you might have called them a friend. In the city of Portland, they seem to be everywhere. As their body odor permeates from their skin as they bike across the Hawthorne … Continue reading

#63 Bad Karaoke

There is no greater social experience than a packed karaoke joint on Friday night. The number of talented performers is shocking when you compare that to lesser cities (San Francisco, Boise and Seattle). Boiler Room, Chopsticks, Alibi, Bear Paw, Galaxy, Gypsy and Grand Cafe provide the largest crowds of karaoke … Continue reading