#78 Ru-dy!

There isn’t anything that unites Portland more than our Trailblazers. Over the past few years, I’ve tried not to touch the Blazers with TAPTS. I know they can do no wrong in the eyes of Portlanders. But after the 2009 series and the one unfolding in front of their eyes, … Continue reading

#77 Police Bureau

Recently, a transient was shot by a Portland police officer and bled to death. You have probably heard that phrase so many times in the past couple of years that it seems almost routine. Officers receive a disturbance call and respond to it in varying degrees of time. Once they … Continue reading

#76 Nate McMillan

It appears that the 2009-2010 season will need another huge prayer of hope just to lose in the first round of playoff action. This season has seen a mass drop in production from marquee players, mostly due to injury. The Natural, The Vanilla Gorilla, Webster, Batum, Rudy, Outlaw, Greg Oden’s … Continue reading

#75 Cell Phone Ban

The new, “No talky on celly when drivey” law has entered the c**kpits of our Toyota Priuses effective January 1st, 2010. Since I’m a super liberal hippie that uses Tri-Met rather than drive anywhere, I thought this was a fantastic idea! When I think of a world where drivers are … Continue reading

#74 Clear WiMAX

After spending the past six months with the Clear wireless experiment, it’s time to bash the hell out of an experience that can best be summed up as “worse than Comcast.”* It all started with my 1920’s house located a block away from the Clear WiMAX tower. I noticed it … Continue reading

#73 Whole Foods

Expensive, expensive, expensive & expensive. Walking the aisle of Whole Foods will amaze most people with their great selection of both brand name and small market niches. But once you reach the unprofessional hippie clerk at check out, you might choke on your processed spearmint gum. Whole Foods and Wild … Continue reading

#71 Lake Oswego Moms

For decades, these vixens of venture capital investors have roamed the Alphabet streets, maintaining their persona of perfection. Oh you pretty little gold diggers, with your double and (sometimes even triple!) wide $4000 strollers and your Gucci diaper bags all for your ugly baby. Juicy Baby can’t hide that face. … Continue reading

#69 Pioneer Square

Bums. Street Urchins. Crappy Guitar Players. Disheveled unemployed. Now, I don’t believe that everyone should have a High School diploma, job or contribute to society because that would be an unfair expectation for the thousands of Californians who come here every year.  Pioneer Courthouse Square was created to be the … Continue reading